Good Grief

by T-Knox
woman sitting in front of casket before burial

Grief is not a sickness or even a mental health problem. It’s the normal response to a loss. Think about it, wouldn’t you want to believe that someone will miss you enough when you’re gone to shed a tear?

You may be in disbelief, feel anxious, depressed, have dreams, be angry, feel deep sadness or be relieved. These feelings are all apart of grieving and when there is a loss everyone feels it in their own way.

Everyone has their own way of dealing with it and they are not alone. Mourning in some faiths is a timely matter, and there is no set time. Not everyone accepts change with wide open arms either, the stages of mourning are:

* Acknowledging the loss is only the first step as hard as it can be. Some people even act as if the loss has had no effect on them and downplay the importance of the loss. You may even believe that you get back the person you lost. Accepting death is difficult.

* Once the loss has been accepted, there’s pain. To avoid feeling pain is all too human. You may cut off all your emotions, feelings, keep busy to shut out how you really feel. Pain is not easy to escape, you will feel it in another way such as illness or depression. The pain is the hardest part of grieving.

* Show your emotions, do not hold them in. If you want to cry, cry. If you feel angry, show it. Crying will help alleviate the pain and sad feelings from the loss.

* The loss of someone can change others’ lives. Your relationships with people may change and you may pull away from friends and family. Adjusting to a new situation may never be easy, but having people who care about you there will make it a lot easier.

* Letting go of the emotions linked to the loss is to say the least difficult. Letting these feelings go does not downplay the loss although you may feel that way. This attachment is normal, and reminiscing of time shared with that person can help the grieving process.

* Making new friendships and relationships can help with the loss. Sometimes you may not want to get close to people again for fear of loosing them. Everyone goes through grief in a different way. Some people have a hard time going about their daily routine and enjoying activities they love. Salvaging former ties and making new ones will only help one’s health.

* The grieving may never be over. If you’ve experienced these forms of grief there may not be a next step and it may not be entirely over. The loss is a part of the experience, but the loss is in the past and cannot be changed. You can only move forward as hard as it is.

This may also help:

* Writing or drawing your feelings, it gets your emotions out and it can be therapeutic.

* Talk about it. With a good friend, counselor, or other support.

* Get enough sleep eat well, and exercise.

* Remember the relationship you had by having a ritual or memorial to commemorate what you had.

Above all, know you are not alone. There are people willing to listen and they are there for you in this difficult time.

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