How Not to Write an Obituary

by K-Dean

Maybe this Mom should've written her own obituary before she died instead of leaving it to others.

An obituary is a fairly short summary of a deceased person’s life, and informs the public of the death and provides information about the funeral and memorial arrangement. Some people choose to write a short simple paragraph that informs the public that your loved one has died. It should include the name, address, date of birth and death. A longer and more detailed obituary might be better fitting for some people. It can include the persons family, job, hobbies, achievements and circumstances of death. A picture can also be included with the obituary. Some families choose a recent picture while others use a picture from an earlier time in the deceased’s life when he or she was younger. It is entirely up to the family to choose how they want to remember their loved one.

Here is a real obituary written for a mother by her daughters. This obituary is an example of what not to do when writing an obituary.

Dolores Aguilar 1929, Aug. 7, 2008

Dolores Aguilar, born in 1929 in New Mexico, left us on August 7, 2008. She will be met in the afterlife by her husband, Raymond, her son, Paul Jr., and daughter, Ruby.

She is survived by her daughters Marietta, Mitzi, Stella, Beatrice, Virginia and Ramona, and son Billy; grandchildren, Donnelle, Joe, Mitzie, Maria, Mario, Marty, Tynette, Tania, Leta, Alexandria, Tommy, Billy, Mathew, Raymond, Kenny, Javier, Lisa, Ashlie and Michael; great-grandchildren, Brendan, Joseph, Karissa, Jacob, Delaney, Shawn, Cienna, Bailey, Christian, Andre Jr., Andrea, Keith, Saeed, Nujaymah, Salma, Merissa, Emily, Jayci, Isabella, Samantha and Emily. I apologize if I missed anyone.

Dolores had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and there will be no lamenting over her passing.

Her family will remember Dolores and amongst ourselves we will remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of those times too. But I truly believe at the end of the day ALL of us will really only miss what we never had, a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing and learning to be a family again.

There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent a lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see to it that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their goodbyes. So I say here for all of us, GOOD BYE, MOM.

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