CBS to Put a Little Spring in the Step of the Dead

by M-Gillies

CBS claims that the Hollywood Forever Cemetery will be the next set of a new series called "Dancing on the Stars".

In what could only have been the basis for an episode of The Jerry Springer Show, two of television’s commercial broadcasting networks are standing in the corners of the ring waiting for the next round to let them at one another once more. Much like the churlish antics of a spoiled child, CBS has released a press release announcing their plans to develop a new show, entitled Dancing on the Stars, which acts as a mocking parody to ABC’s flagship show Dancing with the Stars.

It began like this – on May 4, 2012, CBS issued a firm warning to ABC not to air their new show The Glass House, which was said to have had strong similarities to the CBS reality television series Big Brother. Despite the warning, ABC ignored CBS, prompting the company to move forward with a lawsuit. However, unable to get a judge to issue a temporary restraining order that would have blocked the premiere of the show, The Glass House forged forward without a crack; though its dismal ratings fell lower than those of reruns of Two and a Half Men and The Big Bang Theory.

Whether meant to act as a snicker, sneer and snort, CBS again went on the offensive and issued a press release on June 20, announcing their plans of developing a new reality television series known simply as Dancing on the Stars; an exciting and completely original reality program – as purported by the CBS

press release – that owes its concept and execution to nobody at all.

So what could we expect from a show that subtly hints at the desecration of graves through dancing?

Well, according to the press release, Dancing on the Stars, the newest upcoming launch is said will be broadcast from the Hollywood Forever Cemetery, where it will feature “moderately famous and sort of well-known people you almost recognize competing for big prizes by dancing on the graves of some of Hollywood’s most iconic and well-beloved stars of stage and screen.”

With the likes of Mel Blanc, Cecil B. DeMille, George Harrison of the Beatles and Dee Dee Ramone of the Ramones currently among many of the other great iconic stars residing in the cemetery, it was said in the press release, if all efforts were unsuccessful, approaches would be made to Westwood Village Memorial Park, “where equally scintillating luminaries are interred” such as Peter Falk, Farrah Fawcett, Marilyn Monroe and Frank Zappa – as well as a spot reserved for Hugh Hefner.

While the statement is nothing more than a pseudo-press release aimed at ridiculing ABC for purportedly stealing ideas from CBS, they continue on by saying, “Given the current creative and legal environment in the reality programming business, we’re sure nobody will have any problem with this title or our upcoming half-hour comedy for primetime, Post-MODERN Family.”

Read more:

CBS knocks ABC with Dancing on the Stars spoof |

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